


The Accident

by MyVoxNihili



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, CaBenson, Established Relationship, F/F, I posted this years ago on ff.net, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 19:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14838065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyVoxNihili/pseuds/MyVoxNihili
Summary: Alex and Olivia are engaged but a sudden accident puts one of them in mortal danger. Will their relationship survive? Pre-established A/O. 'Loss' & 'Witness' didn't happen.





	1. The Accident

**Author's Note:**

> All characters and Law & Order franchise belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters and Law & Order franchise belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing. 
> 
> Italics are flashbacks.

Olivia POV

I woke up to what I have deemed to be the most beautiful sight ever: Alex Cabot asleep, curled into my side with her mouth slightly open and her hair messy. It's amazing how the woman could look so beautiful even while asleep. I started tracing her facial features with my eyes, memorizing the way she exudes beauty and peace at the same time.

My thoughts went back to how utterly disappointed in me she looked. We argued. Why? Because I had to cancel our date, yet again. We got a lead on a case about a missing girl and the Captain had everyone stay. I love Alex and I would do anything for her but my job is important too. Needless to say, she was pissed when I came home.

 

* * *

  
_"So now you're saying that your job is more important than me, your future wife?"_

_"Of course not Alex but you know we've been looking for this girl for days. I promised her parents that I would find her and return her to them, alive."_

_Alex was quick to retort, "You also promised me that we would go to dinner tonight."_

_"Al, please." At this point I'm pleading with her to let it go. I've been up for 36 hours and I just want to take a shower and jump into bed._

_"Whatever, we will continue this in the morning." With that final comment she stalked off to our bedroom._

_I'm just counting my lucky stars that she didn't kick me out of the bed; she's been known to make me sleep on the couch. Maybe she took mercy because she knows how tired I am._

 

* * *

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I was rudely interrupted from my thoughts by the alarm clock.

"Ugh turn it off," came out of my companion's mouth. At least I think that's what Alex was saying, the rest of her sentence was muffled by the pillow.

I turn the alarm off with a thud. Suddenly the room is too quiet. I'm afraid to say something lest she bring up last night's argument.

She beats me to it, "Good morning" she says in that hoarse voice that makes my knees go weak.

"Good morning" I reply.

She smiles and lifts her arm and caresses my cheek while giving me a look of complete adoration. Even though she tries to hide it I can still see some of the hurt from last night. I figure I might as well address it now. No time like the present.

"Al, I'm _really_ sorry about last night." I say.

She lets out a quiet sigh, "Liv, I get that your job is demanding, but I want to see you for more than a few minutes a day. This was the third week in a row that you canceled our date. Not the first or the second, the third."

"I know sweetie and I'm really sorry. I promise I'm going to make it up to you."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." She says and I can't help but feel a stab in my heart. She's disappointed in me… doesn't trust what I say.

She continues, "Look, I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. I just want you to see my side of things. If you keep neglecting me like this I'm not sure I can keep doing this."

My eyes immediately widen and my heartbeat speeds up, "what do you mean you 'can't keep doing this'?"

Quickly, she backtracks, "It's not what you think. I'm not going to break up with you." She takes a deep breath before continuing and looks me in the eye, "Have you thought about cutting back your hours? Even just a little? I know you're dedicated to your job and so am I but is this what it's going to be like when we're married and have kids? Please just think about it."

I pause and take a deep breath before answering, "I'll think about it but now we need to get going or we'll be late and you have arraignment."

"Fine, but first give me my good morning kiss" she says with a coy smile as she tugs at my t-shirt.

I can't help but smile back. I pull out of her grasp in mock horror, "Eww get away from me! Morning breath!"

She manages to tackle me and we fall to the floor in a tangled heap. "I've got you trapped now Detective Benson. Now kiss me," she demands. God I love this woman.

"Your wish is my command" I manage to whisper against her lips. Our lips meet in gentle but passionate mess and begin the well-rehearsed dance. It doesn't last long but it's enough to convey how much we love each other.

 

* * *

Alex POV

Thanks to Liv and her lips I'll probably be late for court. After insisting that we took a shower together, which I did not object to, it took us another 15 minutes to get out of our apartment. Our apartment. I still can't believe we're getting married in six months. It finally feels like all the pieces of my life are falling in place.

My attention quickly shifts to some asshole that tries to cut me off. If I wasn't already running late I'd give him a piece of my mind. I glance at the time 7:55 a.m.

Ugh, there is no way I'm making it to the courthouse in five minutes with this traffic. I'm not looking forward to a lecture on punctuality from Judge Petrovsky.

I feel a sudden gust of wind, followed by something slamming hard into my left side. I can't register anything else before everything fades to black…


	2. Her World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no medical experience besides watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy so a lot of this might be wrong.

Olivia Benson sat at her desk in the precinct, wishing she would get a called out on a case so she wouldn't have to finish the insane amount of paperwork she now had the arduous task of completing.

"I'd rather be in the box with a perp for five hours than finish this damn paperwork" She heard her partner Elliot Stabler grunt out in frustration.

"Careful what you wish for" admonished Fin from across the room.

Olivia's phone started ringing before she could get into the conversation. She picked up without looking at the caller ID.

"Benson"

"Hey Liv, have you heard from Alex? Where is she?" She heard Casey Novak, Alex's second-chair in the ADA's office say.

"Uh... we left at the same time this morning. She had court. Why? You haven't seen her?"

Olivia glanced at the time on her computer. 9:13 a.m. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. It was Odd that Casey didn't know where Alex was. The two were practically joined at the hip. Initially, they didn't get along because as competitive as Alex was, she thought Casey would come in and steal her job. After a couple of months she saw that it wasn't the case and Casey was actually a nice person. After Alex got over her hesitation and was assured Casey wasn't going to take her job, the two became best friends.

"Olivia she never showed up for court. Thankfully I got Petrovsky to delay until tomorrow but not before she gave us all a lecture on the importance of punctuality."

It was then that Olivia felt her stomach drop. Something was wrong, very wrong. Alex wouldn't just skip court. She'd call Casey or her secretary.

She heard the worry in Casey's voice as she continued, "Liv, I'm worried about her. I called like five times but she hasn't answered."

Olivia felt her heartbeat speed up. Her head was conjuring up the worst scenarios.

"Thanks Case, I'll find her" she managed to say before she hung up, not bothering to give Casey a chance to say goodbye.

Elliot noticed the pale look on Oliva's face, "Liv you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Alex didn't show up for court and she isn't answering her phone" Olivia answered as she shakily dialed Alex's number.

Elliot furrowed his eyebrows, "Well that's strange but I'm sure she's fine. Probably stuck in traffic."

"No El, something's wrong. I can feel it. She-" Olivia said before she was interrupted by the voice on the other line.

"This is Alexandra Cabot, I'm not available right now but leave a message and I'll get back you as soon as possible."

She got up and started to put on her coat on when Captain Donald Cragen walked in.

"Olivia, my office. Now." Cragen ordered Olivia.

"Cap can it wait? I need to go find Alex. Something's not right." Olivia pleaded with her Captain.

Cragen walked over to Olivia and calmly started speaking, "Liv, I got a call from Elizabeth ten minutes ago. The hospital called her. Alex was in an accident this morning. She was hit by a drunk truck driver."

Judge Elizabeth Donnelly was Alex's only relative. Her father died of a brain aneurism when she was twelve and her mother died three years ago from a heart attack. She's an only child. As her godmother, Elizabeth took her in and raised her.

Olivia felt her knees go weak. She started shaking her head as she tried to process the Captain's words but none of it was making sense. She felt the room spin around her.

"No, no, no. That can't be." Suddenly a sense of dread filled her and her eyes went wide. "Oh God! Captain tell me she's alive." Olivia cried out.

"Olivia, calm down, she's critical at Mercy. Elliot take her!" Cragen said. There was no way he was letting an emotional Olivia drive.

"Sure thing Cap" Elliot was more than willing to help out his partner. "Come on Liv," he grabbed Olivia's elbow and guided her towards the elevators.

 

* * *

 

 

15 minutes later, which Olivia swore were the longest fifteen minutes of her life (even though Elliot used his lights and sirens the entire way, breaking several laws), Elliot was pulling up to the emergency entrance of Mercy Hospital. The car hadn't yet fully stopped when Olivia swung the door open and ran inside towards the reception desk.

"Detective Olivia Benson. I'm looking for Alexandra Cabot." Olivia blurted out to the nurse while gripping the desk so hard her knuckles turned white.

"Are you related to her?" the nurse uninterestedly stated. Although Olivia could tell she probably had little sleep and was tired, she didn't have the patience to deal with her.

"Look lady, my fiancée is in there and I don't know how she is. I need to get in there to see her, now!" Olivia all but yelled at the poor nurse.

"Olivia!" She heard a voice call out to her, which she immediately identified as Elizabeth Donnelly. She quickly whipped her head around and locked eyes with the judge.

"Ho…how is she?" Olivia stammered.

"I don't know. I only got the call that she was hit by a drunk truck driver. They haven't told me anything yet."

As soon as the words left her mouth she they heard another voice call out, "Family of Alexandra Cabot"

They quickly walked over to the young doctor. By this time, Elliot had joined them. He stood behind them letting them both know that he was there for support.

"I'm her fiancée!"

"I'm her godmother!" The two ladies spoke out at the same time.

"I'm Doctor Hemming. I'm not going to lie to you, Ms. Cabot's been in a terrible accident. The impact from the truck hitting her car caused her to hit her head on the windshield. For some reason her airbags failed to deploy and her legs were trapped under the steering wheel. We took her into surgery as soon as she came in." The doctor calmly stated. He hated this part of his job. Worse was knowing that he couldn't give his patient's family member's any hope as to their relative's condition.

At this point Olivia had tears in her eyes and her hands were visibly shaking. She glanced over to Liz and saw the judge's normally stoic face had tears running down her cheeks. Seeing the emotional state Olivia and Liz were in, Elliot asked the question nobody dared to ask, "Is she going to make it?"

As soon as he said that he heard a sob escape Olivia's lips.

Doctor Hemming continued, "I can't say yet. She has some brain spinal damage. Best case scenario is that she enters into a coma. We're trying to repair her spinal cord but there is significant damage. The surgery is further complicated when you factor in the damage done to her brain."

Olivia felt herself sink into a nearby chair as the doctor's words swirled around her head. She blocked out the sounds of the bustling emergency room and imagined her Alex lying helpless on a cold hospital bed. She was able to register Elliot lay a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Can we see her?" Asked Liz Donnelly.

"As soon as she is out of surgery we'll let you know." Dr. Hemming stated. He then walked away and let the three process his words.

 

* * *

  
  


An hour later, Detective Olivia Benson was losing her mind pacing back and forth in the small waiting area. Nobody had come out to tell them anything. Elliot, like a dutiful partner had gone up to the reception desk every 15 minutes to ask for a status update. Every time he got the same answer, "we'll let you know when we have more information." Of course, Captain Cragen had been calling but the squad had not been able to leave since they caught a case. Casey had promised to come to the hospital as soon as court went into recess.

Olivia was tired of waiting. Didn't they realize that the love of her life was in there? Couldn't they see how much pain she was in from not knowing?

The same thoughts were currently running through the mind of Elizabeth Donnelly. She had raised Alex since her mother died. Since she never had any children she considered Alex to be her daughter. She was there when Alex graduated from high school and college. She couldn't have been prouder when Alex told her she would be going to Harvard Law. She was also proud when Alex met Olivia, she could instantly sense a mutual attraction between the two. Even though Alex denied having any feelings for the brunette detective, Elizabeth never passed up an opportunity to tease her about it. She was more than happy to say I told you so when Alex and Olivia informed her that they were together. Now she couldn't fathom how a perfectly sunny morning had turned so tragic.

Suddenly Olivia stopped her pacing as Dr. Hemming walked towards the group. Her stomach dropped as she noted that the Dr. wasn't sporting a good look. Years of being a special victims detective had taught her how to read people's faces.

The doctor took a deep breath before addressing the group, "Ms. Cabot is out of surgery. However," he paused before continuing, "I regret to inform you that Ms. Cabot went into a coma. Now considering the trauma that her body has been through, we expected it. She needs time to heal. The part we are unsure of is when she'll wake up," he concluded.

"Th-there's something else isn't there?" Olivia cautiously asked.

Again, the doctor took a deep breath, "Yes, the damage to her spine is significant. We don't know if she'll be able to walk again."

This time it was Liz who asked a question, "Can we see her?"

"Yes, but only two at a time," answered the doctor. "Now, if you'll follow me."

Both women nodded as they were led down a long corridor and through a pair of double doors. They rounded a corner and walked past a couple of rooms. The doctor stopped in front of a door, "I have to warn you she has a lot of machines and tubes connected and her body has a lot of cuts and bruises."

Olivia nodded. She was a detective and had seen the human body battered and bruised. She was ready to face anything as long as she got to see Alex."

The doctor opened the door and the ladies walked in. "I'll give you five minutes but then you have to let her rest. She needs it," the doctor stated and then walked out of the room.

As soon as Olivia laid eyes on Alex, she felt like the wind was knocked out of her. She had a split lip and her arm was in a cast. Her bed was also surrounded by tubes and wires, keeping her alive, no doubt.

Elizabeth walked over and held her hand while silently crying. Olivia walked over to the other side of Alex's bed and held her other hand while placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, a few of her tears falling into Alex's golden hair. "I love you," she choked out, "You need to live. I need you Alex."


	3. Longing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/Reviews are always welcome - its nice to know people are actually reading the story.

Two days. 48 hours. 2,880 minutes. 172,800 seconds.

That was how long Olivia Benson had gone without seeing those piercing blue eyes that she fell in love with. It seemed as if time was crawling; every second that went by Olivia felt Alex slip away more and more. She knew Alex was stubborn, a fighter, and she would find a way to make it back to her. She had faith in the woman she loved – the woman she couldn't help but love from the moment they met.

Sitting in the chair next to Alex's bed, holding her hand – with only the beeping sound of the heart monitor – Olivia couldn't help but reminisce on the first time she felt like she was falling for the blonde attorney...

 

* * *

 

 

_Alex POV_

_I come from a long line of distinguished lawyers and judges. Before I was born my career was always planned out for me. I was to go to Harvard Law School like my father and his father and his father… Then, I was to start working in the Manhattan DA's office under the guidance of my godmother Elizabeth Donnelly. After I had gained enough experience and prestige I would run for DA, then senator or governor. I was to marry a man with money and an equally impressionable career – maybe a doctor or a politician. When my parents died I felt I had to follow the path set before me to honor them. Now, I feel like I'm failing them both. Not only am I not going to marry a man (due to the fact that I'm gay!), much less a successful one, but I am an incompetent attorney as well._

_Currently, I am sitting in my office: crying. I'm the ADA for Manhattan's distinguished SVU unit. It's only my second case and I feel like everything is falling apart. My entire life I was sheltered from the horrible, unspeakable, acts a human is capable of. Sure, I was raised by my godmother, but she never let on about the cases she tried and now I know why. She was reluctant when I told her I wanted to be assigned to SVU – she didn't want me to see how people could rape and kill and have no remorse afterwards._

_I hear a soft knock followed by a concerned voice, "Uhm… Ms. Cabot?"_

_Ugh, Detective Olivia Benson. Just what I need, the strong (…and beautiful) female detective seeing me break down crying in my office._

_I cleared my voice, hoping to regain some confidence, "Yes, Detective Benson, how can I help you?"_

_I can't help but notice her shifting her weight on her feet. She looks uncomfortable… maybe nervous? But why?_

" _Uh… I saw that you all but ran out of the courtroom today after the verdict. I came to see if you were ok?" She said, concern lacing her voice. But why? She doesn't even know me._

" _I just don't understand how they could let him go. Now Katie has to go back to that house and he gets to keep abusing her! How is that justice?" Now I'm pacing around my office, opting to display anger rather than my disappointment in myself._

_She reaches out to stroke my arm but I flinch, not used to the contact. Immediately, I regret my decision from the hurt look that momentarily crosses her face. Ugh, I can't get anything right today._

" _Look, I don't know why they decided to acquit him but you can't blame yourself."_

" _How can you say that? If a more competent ADA had tried the case maybe that little girl would have gotten the justice she deserves."_

" _You are a competent ADA…" She says, staring right into my eyes as she says the words. I don't know why but in that moment she could tell me the tooth fairy was real and I would believe her._

_The room goes silent and I stop my frantic pacing. She steps closer, "You can't blame yourself Alex. These cases, each one takes a bit from you that you will never get back. The ones with the kids hurt even more."_

" _So then why do you do it?" I find myself asking her._

" _Because someone has to." She simply states. A look of confusion crosses my face and she gives me a small smile – which I can't help but return._

" _Goodbye Alex." She says as she turns to the door._

" _Detective Benson" I say and touch her shoulder to stop her from leaving. She turns around and we make eye contact. Damnit, what is it about this woman that makes me lose my train of thought with just one look?_

_Her voice brings me back to reality, "You can call me Olivia"_

" _Thank you, Olivia," I say, my voice just above a whisper._

_She smiles, and I'm beginning to find that I want to see her smile more, "Anytime Alex" she says and leaves my office. I can definitely see why she's such a good detective. Something about her demeanor makes me want to trust her._

 

* * *

 

 

Staring at Alex's chest steadily rise and fall, Olivia smiled as she realized that that first late night conversation was the true start of their relationship. She simply went to Alex's office on impulse, not knowing that it would be the best decision she ever made. She realized that she could fall in love with those baby blue eyes and the way Alex cared for the victims. She couldn't help but want to know more about her after that encounter.

Suddenly the room felt too small. The memories of them came flooding back too fast. Their dates… them moving in together… the night Alex proposed…

She needed to get some air. She ran out of the room, down the hallway, and down the stairs – she couldn't be bothered waiting for the elevator. Finally, she made it outside but the fresh air didn't seem to help.

Olivia was filled with an overwhelming feeling of anger. Anger for that drunk idiot who hit Alex. Anger at the doctors for not doing more to wake her up. Lastly, anger at herself for not being able to do more to help the love of her life. She felt the anger and adrenaline in her blood hit her all at once. She saw red and swung a punch at the brick wall, and another and another, until she could feel her knuckles give out. She looked down at her hands but couldn't make out anything other than they were bloody due to the tears obstructing her vision.

She was suddenly enveloped in a bear hug and supported by a pair of strong arms. Her partner's voice soon filled her ears, "She'll be ok Liv. She's gonna make it. We both know how stubborn Alex is and she's not going to let this beat her. She's going to wake up and you two are going to get married and be happy  _together_." He spoke to her in that voice that usually lets victims know that they're safe and he can be trusted.

His voice should have comforted her but instead she just broke down into sobs and repeating "I can't lose her" over and over. For the second time in her life the strong Detective Benson was scared (the first being when she thought she had accidentally killed her mother). She just wanted Alex to hold her and tell her that everything would be ok. At the same time, she felt selfish. Alex was in there fighting for her life and she was out here crying – a thought that only led her to break down into tears once more.

Twenty minutes later Olivia's sobs had subsided. She got up, "I better go home and get a change of clothes. I should probably get a shower too."

"Yeah and make sure you get something to eat too. I'll stay here with her."

"Call me if anything changes."

"Of course." Elliot said.

He watched Olivia wistfully look towards the hospital entrance and walk away with hunched shoulders.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He glanced at the caller ID: it was Cragen. "Stabler"

"Elliot, how is she?"

"She's not looking too good cap. She went home but I'm worried about her. Alex is her rock, I can't imagine what she's going through." He said as he thought back to his own wife and how devastated he would be if he was in Olivia's position.

The Captain sighed over the line, "Yeah. It's gotta be tough. She needs to know that we're there for her."

"Yeah, Liz went home as well. I'm gonna stay with Alex until Liv comes back."

"Take all the time you need. Be there for Olivia and call me if there's an update." the captain said before he hung up.


	4. Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?

3 weeks later…

Detective Olivia Benson hasn't had a full night's sleep since exactly three weeks ago. She's gone home only for short periods of time – for showers and changes of clothes. Other than that she's been glued to Alex's side for the past three weeks. She's tired of hospitals, tired of everyone assuring her that Alex will be okay, but most of all she's tired of waiting.

She's had a recurring nightmare in where Alex is alive and they live in a beautiful four bedroom home. The dream starts with her coming home from work and sitting down to have dinner with her family – they have two girls (Ashley & Danielle) and a small puppy named Max. After dinner the family goes into the living room to watch a movie. Then it starts to turn into a nightmare. Alex gets up and leaves without a warning. Every time Olivia tries to follow her she finds her lying on the porch bleeding. She always wakes up screaming for Alex to wake up.

Olivia is currently sleeping on the couch in Alex's room having this nightmare when something wakes her up. She doesn't know  _what_  but she just knew she  _had_  to wake up. Looking around the room and not seeing or hearing anything strange, she starts to doze off again. Just as she does, she hears a sound…

"Uggghh…"

She quickly opens her eyes and realizes the sound came from Alex. She almost trips over her feet in her haste to get to Alex's side.

Taking her hand, Olivia notices that she's mumbling incoherently but hasn't opened her eyes. She presses the call button, summoning a nurse.

"Alex, sweetie wake up. Open your eyes for me baby." Olivia pleaded with Alex, her voice thick with emotion.

Dr. Hemming rushes in followed by a nurse. "She's mumbling something but I can't make out what it is," Olivia informs him. Her hands are shaking; she doesn't know what to do to make Alex wake up. Part of her is scared that this might be another horrible nightmare or her mind playing a trick on her.

"She seems to be waking up. Her heartbeat is speeding up. Her brain is probably adjusting, let's give her a few minutes," the doctor replies.

"Al honey, I'm right here and you're safe. You can open your eyes," by this point Olivia has tears rolling down her cheeks. She wants to remain strong for Alex's sake but she can't help but feel elated at the idea of Alex finally waking up.

After three weeks of hurt and sadness, Olivia finally gets what she wants; Alex opens her eyes. For a moment it feels like everything stops. Olivia and Alex make eye contact and Olivia swears she's never been happier.

Alex's expression quickly turns from one of peace to one of confusion. She opens her mouth to speak but the words can't escape her lips. Instead, she lifts her arm and points to her throat, indicating that she's thirsty. Olivia reaches over to the table next to the bed and brings a cup of water to Alex's lips with her left hand while her right supports the blonde's head.

Dr. Hemming finally speaks up, "Ms. Cabot, you're in the hospital. You suffered a car accident and suffered considerable brain and spinal damage."

Alex's eyes went wide at the doctor's words. She clears her throat before speaking, "I… remember…leaving for work…uh… driving, then pain," her words come out hoarse. She tries to sit up in bed but can't. Then her expression turns to one of absolute fear. Olivia, who's been watching her lover's every move – not yet quite believing the turn of events – now looks worried. "Al, baby, what's wrong? What hurts?"

The gears start to turn in Alex's head as she ignores Olivia and looks straight towards the doctor, almost defying him. "…you said spinal significant spinal damage. I can't feel my legs…"

Olivia's eyes widen as she too, looks towards the doctor. Suddenly feeling the piercing gaze of the two women the doctor shifts uncomfortably. "Don't get ahead of yourself. Your latest scans showed that your scars are healing and the surgery was a success."

"B-but will sh-she be able to walk again?" Stammered Olivia.

The doctor purposely avoided both of their gazes, "We need to wait. I simply can't give you a definitive yes or no answer.  _But_ , I am optimistic," ending his statement with a tight smile before turning to leave the room. Just as he reaches the door he looks back at the couple – now engrossed in their own world – "I'm glad you're awake Alex," and leaves.

They stare at each other for some time, hungrily memorizing every feature of their faces. Then Olivia leans in and presses her lips to Alex's. It's soft and caring and shows just how  _damn_  much Olivia missed her. Sure she kissed Alex over the past couple of weeks but they never responded. They never emitted the warmth that was just  _so_ Alex.

Olivia shifted her weight so that she was now sitting on the edge of the bed without disturbing the blonde – one hand caressing her cheek while the other was tangled in silky blonde hair. The kiss breaks and the couple pulls back with identical wide-eyed smiles. For a moment, Olivia inhales her lover's scent – she's finally home.

"Alex" she breathes out, as if the name is the answer to some unspoken prayer. "I love you"

"I love you too" their eyes convey much more emotions that their words ever could…

After a few minutes of comfortable silence of basking in each other's presence, Alex speaks up, "Liv, what I can't walk again?" The brunette hears the vulnerability in Alex's voice, something she always tries to hide and realizes how scared she is.

"Sweetie you can't think negatively. The doctor said it'll take time, you can't rush the process. Your body needs time to heal. I mean, after all, you were in a coma for three weeks…"

Alex's eyes go wide, "Three weeks?!"

Breathing in to control all her emotions, Olivia replies, "Yeah, and I was so scared." She briefly looks away, recalling her moments of agony. "I thought I was going to lose you" she continues, her voice thick with emotions.

Alex reaches out for her and Olivia buries her face in Alex's neck. They hold each other and cry over everything that has happened.

"I'm sorry" Olivia says with her face still buried deep in Alex's neck.

Alex pulls back, "why?"

"Canceling our date the night before the accident," Olivia states with sad eyes.

"Olivia we went through this already. I understand that you have hectic work hours. You don't need to keep apologizing." Alex replies as she tries to reach out to hold Oliva's hand but the detective pulls away.

Olivia stands up and starts to pace the length of the bed, "You don't understand, I do! YOU are the most important thing in my life and I came close to losing you. I'm not willing to put you above my job anymore. When you were in that bed I kept replaying the argument over and over asking myself how I could have been so stupid. I couldn't live with myself if the last image you had of me was of us arguing."

"But I didn't die. I'm here baby" Alex states with outstretched arms.

Olivia willingly comes forward and their lips meet again. This time it's not gentle but frantic, like they can't get enough of each other.

 

* * *

 

 

20 minutes later…

The door to Alex's room swings open. Before Alex can turn her head to see who it is, a pair of arms throw themselves around her. "Oh thank god! I'm so glad you're ok." Elizabeth Donnelly says, while crying onto Alex's shoulder.

She pulls back and gives Alex a stern glare, "You better not scare us like that again. Do you understand Alexandra?"

Alex smiles at her godmother's antics. Even while crying the woman looked intimidating.

Alex replied with a nod, "Yes mam."

"Good, now come here. Let me hold you." Liz said as she enveloped Alex in another hug. She pulled back and look towards Olivia who was silently watching the two interact, "you too, come here," she said with a smile and an outstretched arm. As she held the two women, she silently gave thanks that Alex was alive and well.

"Ok, now what did the doctor say?" Liz asked Olivia. She explained everything while Alex looked sullen.

"I can't believe this is happening" Alex said after Olivia finished her explanation.

"Sweetie don't say that. This isn't the worst thing ever," Olivia countered.

Alex replied with an incredulous look on her face, "How can you possibly say that?!"

"Because I spend every day working with women and children who are abused. Or, maybe it's because I spent the past three weeks of my life thinking that you were never going to wake up!" At this point Olivia was yelling. She couldn't understand why Alex couldn't see the positive side to the situation.

Alex opened her mouth to retort but was cut-off by Liz, "Both of you stop it now! You need each other more than ever you shouldn't be fighting with each other like this." She pointed at Alex, "Alexandra you're lucky to be alive. You were hit by a truck for goodness sake. I know this isn't the ideal situation but you need to stay positive. We only want you to get better. Now you," she pointed at Olivia, "get over there and hold her." Olivia did as she was told and held the love of her life. Liz took note that it would take more than a hug for things to heal but at least this was a start.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day…

There is a knock on Alex's door. "Come in" the blonde answers absentmindedly.

"You're looking much better than the last time I saw you," the raspy voice greeted her.

"Casey! Thank god!" Alex replied with a wide grin.

"Wow, I've never you this happy to see me!" Casey says as she sits in the armchair next to the bed.

"Ugh I am going crazy in here. I am  _so_  bored! Not to mention annoyed because Liz and Olivia keep hovering over me, even more so that the nurses."

Casey chuckles, taking note of the blonde's exasperated look.

"Well then you should really thank me for coming because as the awesome best friend that I am, I brought you a gift that should keep you occupied." Casey says as she hands over a gift bag to Alex.

Alex opens up the bag and finds… a Frozen DVD. She gives Casey a puzzled look.

Momentarily stifling her laughter, Casey manages to respond, "…because you're the ice queen."

"Oh ha-ha" Alex deadpans.

Regaining her composure, Casey asks, "But seriously, how are you? Sorry if I couldn't come sooner but since you've been out SVU is hectic. I'm trying my best to handle both our caseloads at the same time but I'm stuck in court all the time."

"Don't worry about it. I hope I can come back soon to help you. As for how I'm doing…." Alex pauses, searching for the right words to say, "…I guess I'm ok. I'm starting physical therapy tomorrow. They're trying to get my legs used to constant movement again" she says with a shrug of her shoulders.

Casey notices that there's more than her friend is letting on, "And emotionally?"

Alex takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, "Honestly, I don't know. I'm trying really hard to keep myself together around Liv and Liz but it's hard to process everything. I can't help but think what's going to happen if I can't walk again. I can't force Liv to be with me just because she pities me. I mean we already had an argument over this, what if she gets tired of taking care of me and leaves?"

"Alex," Casey takes the blonde's hand in her own, "Olivia Benson loves you. The entire time you were in a coma she was devastated. I've never seen her so lost – like she literally lost her other half. She doesn't pity you. On the contrary, she wants to be there for you every step of the way. And you can't keep thinking the worst, be positive. You two are strong, you'll get through this but you have to lean on each other for support."

No longer able to hold back her tears, Alex let them fall freely, "Thanks Case."

"No problem, I'm here for you both. Now, let's pop in that DVD and watch your animated counterpart freeze over an entire kingdom" she replied with a smile.


	5. Through the Good & the Bad & the Ugly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: italics are flashbacks

_Olivia POV:_

_Ok, it's now or never. Wait, what if she says no?_

_No, I'm already here, might as well ask her, right?_

_I don't even sweat this much when I'm staring down rapists and murderers. Get ahold of yourself Benson!_

_I walked down the long hallway, my footsteps feeling heavier with each step. I stopped in front of my desired destination, the gold lettering 'Alexandra Cabot: Assistant District Attorney' staring back at me. I raise a hesitant hand to knock. God I'm nervous! Why did I let Elliot talk me into this?_

_I hear her voice and I realize that I need to do this, "Come in"_

_Walking in, I clear my throat and she finally looks up from behind her pile of paperwork, a faint smile gracing her lips. The color of her eyes has quickly become my favorite shade of blue. I don't think I'll ever get tired of looking into them. She has bags under her eyes, she must be tired._

_She cocks an eyebrow and I realize I've been staring too long. I clear my throat again before beginning the speech I've been working on for the past week._

" _Uh…ummm… Alex, well…. I was wondering if…uh…"_

" _What is it Olivia? Is it about the Wheeler case?" She's referring to the latest case the squad's been working on._

" _Um, no, it's not about work." I feel a blush creep up my neck. Now I've officially embarrassed myself in front of the A.D.A._

" _What is it about then?"_

" _I was, uh, wondering if you'd want to go out for drinks?" Well, I finally got it out._

_She looks at the pile of paperwork, probably contemplating if she should finish it. "You know what, sure! This paperwork will still be here tomorrow." She stands up and starts to gather her things. "Where are we meeting the guys?"_

_Damn. I would've guesses a lawyer like her would know how to ask all the right questions._

" _Well, uh, the guys aren't coming. I was kinda hoping it would just be the two of us."_

_She looks at me with a glint in her eyes and a smirk, "Detective Benson, are you asking me out on a date?"_

_I take a deep breath and muster up the confidence to actually say the words, "Yes. I am asking you out on a date Alex." I can literally feel the beads of sweat on my neck. When did it get so damn hot in here?_

" _So? Will you go out with me?" I ask again, silently praying to every god out there that Elliot is right about this._

_Her smirk slowly turns to a smile, the first real smile I've ever seen on her face, "Yes"_

_Did I hear that right? Did she actually say yes, "Yes?"_

" _Yes, I will go out with you Olivia. Let's go, I'm starving. I know a great Italian place a couple of blocks from here."_

_She walks out of the office and I take a moment to do a silent celebration dance. I'm actually going out with **the**  Alex Cabot. The beautiful, amazing, wonderful, Alex Cabot._

 

* * *

 

 

Alex POV: 3 months later

"No, stop, I can't!"

"Just a few more Ms. Cabot…"

"NO! I SAID I WANT TO STOP!" I'm aware that the poor therapist is not at fault for my accident but I need to lash out at somebody.

"Al, sweetie, please just try…" She tries to hide it but I hear the disappointment in her voice. The one thing I have always prided myself on, never disappointing Olivia.

"Don't! Don't you dare imply that I'm not trying!"

"I didn't say you weren't trying sweetie."

"Neither of you know how much pain I'm in. I want to stop now!"

"As you wish Ms. Cabot. I will be back at the same time tomorrow." He looks at us and then leaves the room.

"Alex-"

"Leave" I say staring up at the ceiling. I can't lose it while she's here.

"What?" Her voice is breaking and I can tell she's trying not to cry.

"You heard me Olivia leave."

"Look, sweetie, I know this is hard but-"

"No Olivia, I want you to leave. I don't want to talk. Leave." I'm still avoiding looking at her. If I do I know I'll break down in front of her.

I hear her footsteps followed by the door slamming shut.

Shit. I've done it now. She's been by my side for these past months supporting me and now I'm pushing her out. She's going to leave me and I'm going to be alone. I want her. No, I need her but I can't make her stay with me, especially if I don't get to walk again. I'm so tired of this damn hospital, the nurses, the doctors, and the therapy.

I want to go home. I want to go back six months ago when Liv and I got engaged and we were happy and everything was perfect. I know I'm contradicting myself but I can't help it. Yes, I want her by my side but not like this. If I spend the rest of my life stuck in a wheelchair I'll just be a burden to her. I know she won't mind but I will.

I'm so pathetic. Crying my eyes out in a hospital room, angry at myself for pushing away the love of my life. That thought only makes me cry even harder.

A knock on my door startles me. I try in vain to wipe away my tear. In walks Elizabeth Donnelly. By the look on her face I know she ran into Olivia. I'm in for an ass-chewing.

She doesn't say a word as she sits down in the chair next to my bed and stares at me.

After a few minutes have passed and I've successfully stopped crying, "Are you done?"

Without looking her in the eye I nod faintly.

"I'm not asking if you're done crying but if you're done trying to destroy your own life Alexandra."

I take a shaky breath, "Liz, I appreciate what you're trying to do but with all due respect, it's none of your business."

She stand up shaking her head and sits on the edge of my bed. "When my daughter intentionally tries to sabotage her own life it becomes my business." She takes my hand, "Your father and I were able to keep our friendship for so long because we always called each other out on our bullshit. That's what I intend to do with you. Alex that woman loves you. There is nothing she wouldn't do for you."

"That's exactly it Liz," I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks once more, "She would do anything for me, including forcing herself to stay by my side even when I'm a burden to her."

"You will never be a burden to her. She loves you. When you told me that you were going to ask her to marry you, I warned you not to hurt her. Do you remember what you said?"

I nod faintly, remembering exactly what my response was.

"You promised me you would never hurt her." She squeezes my hand, "You're hurting her now, Alex. You're stubborn like your father and sometimes that can be a good thing, especially when you're an attorney. Other times it stops you from seeing the reality in front of you."

I know she's right. Liz always is.

"Talk to her. In a few months you'll be walking out of here and she needs to be by your side or I'm going to have to kick your ass."

I faintly smile. There's not a doubt in my mind that she would do that. "Ok"

 

* * *

 

 

The next day…

I'm in my room watching yet another inaccurate crime show. Do these people even check their facts? I can't focus on it, my mind is on Olivia. I haven't seen her since I yelled at her to leave yesterday. I've tried to call her but she hasn't answered. I know I messed up and I'm ready to apologize for the rest of my life if needed.

There's a series of knocks on the door and before I can answer the entire squad is walking into my room. Cragen, Elliot, Fin, Munch, Casey, even Melinda and Huang walk in with smiles and hellos.

"Guys not that I don't enjoy this surprise but it can't be a coincidence that you all decided to show up at the same time. What's up?"

Elliot is the first to speak up, "Olivia told us to meet her here."

"Liv? Why?"

"We don't know but she said it was a surprise and that we should be here," Casey says.

Then the door opens and Olivia walks in followed by Liz and a middle-aged man in a suit.

All I can do is stare at them. What the hell is going on?

"Liv what's going on?" She's looking at me with a knowing smile. She walks over and sits on the edge of my bed. Taking my hand she says, "Alex, I know you're scared about the future but I love you and I'm not going to give up on you… I'm not going to give up on  **us**."

"I know. I love you too and I'm ready to fight for us." What did I ever do to deserve such an amazing woman?

I hear Liz clear her throat and I suddenly remember that we're not alone.

Olivia looks back at me, "I know we were supposed to plan our wedding together but I can't wait another six months to be your wife. I arranged for the justice of peace to come down and officiate the ceremony. So, Alexandra Cabot, will you marry me?"


	6. Forever & Always

" _Alexandra Cabot, will you marry me"_

To say that Alex Cabot was surprised would be an understatement. She had spent the past twelve hours thinking that this would finally be the time that Olivia left her and never came back. She is well aware that she isn't an easy person to put up with but that doesn't mean that Olivia leaving wouldn't hurt. On the contrary, she's pretty sure she would be devastated.

Somebody in the now-crowded room cleared their throat and Alex realizes that she has yet to answer Olivia's question. With tears welling up in her eyes, she manages to whisper, "Yes"

"Yes?" Olivia questioned. She knew she was taking a big risk putting Alex on the spot but she would do anything for the blonde.

"Yes I'll marry you. Right here, right now." Alex managed to answer in a slightly stronger voice.

Seeing that both women were in agreement, the Justice of Peace began the ceremony, "We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Olivia Jean Benson and Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot…"

Looking into each other's eyes Alex and Olivia tune out the justice's words. In that moment they realize that their love will be strong enough to overcome everything that they're going through. They're gonna make it through this hell together.

"Olivia would you like to start?" Questioned the justice of peace.

"Huh? What?" Olivia was lost, as always, in Alex's bright blue eyes.

"You vows" he motioned as he gave passed her the ring.

"Oh! Yeah!" she takes a moment to gather her thoughts before beginning, "Alex, when I first met you I thought you were stubborn and a know-it-all, but after getting to know you better I realized that you were those things and more." Alex rolled her eyes as the room was filled with soft-chuckles.

"After that one day in your office I got to know you as a friend and realized how passionate you are about your work, how caring you are towards those around you, and how fiercely protective you are of those you love."

"Pretty soon I realized that I didn't want you as just a friend, I want you as my life partner. You are funny, caring, and everything I've ever wanted in a lover. I promise you that I will devote the rest of my life to making you happy and making us work. I promise to be the wife that someone as amazing as you deserves. I'm not going to give up on us Alex."

"Lastly, I promise to love you every day for the rest of my life and to spend every day making sure you feel infinitely loved." As she finished she slipped the ring onto Alex's finger.

Alex looked down at her ring wondering how the hell she got so lucky to have someone love her like Olivia does. She took the ring from the justice and took a deep breath to calm her overflowing emotions, "Olivia, I thank my lucky stars every day that I have you in my life. You constantly make me want to be a better person."

"I've never had someone that I could completely depend on and be truly myself around. You had no expectations of who you wanted me to be. You accepted me as I am and for that I love you so much more than you can comprehend. I know you don't always believe it but you are the most incredible person."

"You are caring, warm, passionate, and you deserve everything good in life. I love the way you get personally invested in the cases you work. I love the way your nose crinkles when you realize you're wrong in an argument but refuse to back down. I love the way you protectively wrap your arms around me when we sleep. I love the way your smile lights up a room and I can't help but gravitate towards you."

"I love the way you kiss me. I love the way you make love to me. I love you. I vow to spend the rest of my life devoted to loving you and showing you my love. I vow to kiss you every day regardless of any disagreement we may have. I've learned that we shouldn't take moments for granted and I vow to make every day, every hour, and every second count with you," she finished as she slipped the ring onto Olivia's finger.

As soon as Alex finished, Olivia launched herself into her arms, feeling like she never wanted to let her go.

"Ok ladies. Olivia Jean Benson do you take Alexandra Elizabeth Benson to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health?" the justice asked.

Without missing a beat, Olivia replied "Yes, forever and always."

"And do you Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot take Olivia Jean Benson to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health?"

"Yes, forever and always." Alex said without hesitation.

"Then by the power vested in me by the laws of the State of New York I pronounce you legally married. You may kiss you bride." The justice's words were drowned out by the applause of the gathered audience.

As soon as Olivia heard the word 'kiss' she leaned in and pressed her lips to Alex's like her life depended on her. It was caring, needy, but also a reassurance to each other that they would always love each other and that whatever came their way they would get through it together.

Seeing that the kiss was starting to get hot and heavy, Munch let out a whistle while Elliot uncomfortably cleared his throat. The newlyweds reluctantly split apart but they had ear to ear smiles on their face. They welcomed hugs and congratulations from their 'family' never letting go of the other's hand.

Alex heard Liz say, "I'm glad you two finally tied the knot. Olivia I know I don't need to warn you that if you hurt Alexandra I will see to it that you pay. Alex, I consider you my daughter which is how I know that Olivia is good for you so if you do anything to mess it up I will personally kick your ass." She said it with a smile but a gaze that showed that she was one-hundred percent serious.

"Yes mam" replied Alex.

Liz gave her girls one final hug, "Alright everyone let's get back to the business of keeping this city safe and give the newlyweds some space." Everyone walked out as they waved their goodbyes to the oblivious couple.

Olivia leaned in and gave Alex another lingering kiss. "I can't believe you're my wife. I love you."

Alex chuckled, "Yup you're stuck with me forever now."

With the widest smile, Olivia replied, "Yeah and I wouldn't want it any other way" as she leaned in to kiss her wife yet again.

 

* * *

 

 

3 years later…

Olivia walked out on the beach looking for Alex. She looked on at her wife of three years. Alex Cabot looked stunningly beautiful. She had on a white flowing sundress. To Olivia, she looked almost angelic. The way she stood out against the sand and the ocean… the way her toned legs seemed never ending… the way her golden hair seemed to shine even more when hit with the sunlight… yes, Alex was beautiful in every sense of the word.

When Alex realized Olivia was looking at her she smiled and called out, "Honey come here! Watch the sunset with me." Olivia couldn't help but mirror her wife's smile. She was so happy.

Olivia walked behind Alex, her hands linked with Alex's and placed on the blonde's ever-growing bump. Olivia reflected back on the last three years. They had without a doubt been the hardest three years of her life. After the 'wedding' Alex had continued with physical therapy. It took her another year before she was able to walk again. It was by no means easy. Some days Alex retreated into a cycle of depression but with Olivia by her side, they were able to leave behind that dark time in their life. Their love was stronger and overcame all the obstacles thrown their way.

During the following year they built upon their relationship, deepening their love for each other. They went back to work but promising each other that their work wouldn't interfere with their personal relationship. Olivia was promoted to Sergeant which allowed her to cut back her hours and Alex was promoted to D.A while Casey remained in charge of SVU's cases. Since they were both earning more, they decided to move out of their small apartment and bought a lovely brownstone which they quickly made their home. Alex loved coming home and seeing the place decorated with pictures of themselves and their loved ones.

Soon after they moved in they decided to try for a family. After a couple of attempts, Alex was pregnant with their son. Their life couldn't get more perfect.

"I can't wait to meet our son tomorrow." Olivia said, breaking the silence.

"Well, I am certainly ready. Nine months takes a toll. I'm ready to get him out of here."

Olivia shook her head at her wife's words. She leaned in to kiss her as the sun emitted its final rays of light for the day.

She pulled back smiling and looked into her wife's eyes, "I love you forever and always."

"I love you too, forever and always."

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was inspired by the song "Forever and Always" by Parachute. Go give it a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xlwpf8u4aw. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. Feel free to say hi to me on tumblr: myvox-nihili to talk about Cabenson or anything else!


End file.
